In this moment, I am an amazing single mom!!! :)
How to practice being present and really being there; showing up for yourself and your kids :).
Tonight, like on many nights, my 4-year-old (nearly 5), Lukas, wanted to sleep with me, because otherwise “I am scared,” he says. And tonight, like on many nights before, I said “yes.” I think that by now I am really used to hugging my baby-boy, kissing his forehead, and us falling asleep together. I know that some people would say that this isn’t ok and that he needs to learn to be more independent, never sleep in mommy’s bed, and so on. He’s 4. He goes to daycare from Monday - Friday. I don’t see him at all from 8am - 6pm. So, those few, precious evening hours is all we have - and even then, often times, I am working on our app for single parents, with the firm belief, knowledge, and the mission that many will greatly benefit from our work. Many of my evenings tend to be spent on meetings with my team, interviewing single parents, oftentimes with my son popping in his head, shyly, and saying hello to those on the other side of the screen, or making things like wireframes and a pitch deck and a business plan. And I know that my son dearly wants to be close to me, in the same room, at the same desk even. On occasion, he will literally lie on the carpet next to my feet, to watch Paw Patrol on the phone just so that he’s close to me. And if I go to another room - he’s right there, behind me haha :).
So, this evening, while Lukas was sleeping, pressed next to me, and I was stroking his little hand, I suddenly started to notice how small it was. I noticed his small fingers and the whole hand, thinking how it’s not going to last like this forever, that in a year it will be bigger, and in 5 - even more so. Then, I noticed his little nose, which I also, gently, stroked with one finger, and his cheek and forehead. All of a sudden I was studying his whole face and really noticing what it looks like and how much it has changed, thinking of how much it is going to change. His hand used to be so tiny that it could fit in the inside of my palm, with my fingers wrapped around it tightly. I think that oftentimes we stop noticing what’s going on, the growth and the changes, and it simply becomes the norm and part of our lives, instead of a daily miracle of life. We adjust to things, and no matter how amazing or incredible something was at the beginning, down the road, pretty quickly, it just becomes a part of our lives and we do stop noticing.
Some years ago I took this class on human psychology via Great Courses, and in this class, it said how everyone has these dreams, goals, and aspirations in life, such as buying a house or a car, getting married, and what have you. Then, one day, you get your dream - you buy your dream house or your dream car, or you end up getting married. According to this psychology course, what ends up happening is that for a time your happiness level DOES go up - for a time. Apparently, with physical things like a car or a house, your happiness level could go up for as long as 3-6 months, the state where you are in awe, or this wonder and amazement, where you really notice this big, new change that has occurred in your life. However, once the honeymoon phase passes, you more or less return to the happiness level you were at before the big purchase. When it comes to relationships and marriage, your happiness level could go up for as long as 2 years, before gradually decreasing and ‘normalizing’ itself to what your happiness is usually.
I find this really interesting, how we become or how we get happy, and how it really is your own state of being and it is something that you could very much practice and cultivate and learn to be happy on a daily basis - but you have to know how and then make it into a habit. Another example I will share with you happened maybe a few months ago to me. Nothing super exciting happened, at all - not outwardly. But something very meaningful happened within my mind. So, what happened was that I came back from the outside, walked into my apartment, and then closed the door behind me. Then, somehow, as I turned around and faced my kitchen, this thought just struck me that this kitchen is MINE. That it belongs to me (to the extent that any rental apartment belongs to those renting it out). I looked at the sink, then at the stove, the ceiling, the cabinets, the little space that is my kitchen, and then I thought to myself ‘just a few years ago I did not have anything like this at all. I lived with my parents. I was miserable. Every other weekend I was asked when I was gonna move out of there, having no idea myself.’ And now, here I was, a few years later, being in a very different place and state in my life, observing this change in my life and taking it in, and appreciating that I had this, that I am able to have a peaceful space just for myself and not feel like I am taking up someone else’s space. To me, this was pretty amazing, to just observe and to notice and fill myself with gratitude of how far I have come (my kitchen isn’t anything super incredible to most people, probably, but to me it’s pretty amazing).
So, when it comes to my son and me observing him and his changing body, his tiny little fingers and his tiny little face and nose…. I think that this is such an amazing, incredible gift, to be able to notice and appreciate and to really see the things in front of me, to be present. Isn’t that like super awesome? I think that you should sometimes just take a minute, look at the sky above you, and observe exactly what you see there. Is it night or day? Do you see any clouds at all? What shapes, forms, and colors do you see? Really see, observe, and notice it.
Either way, I would like to give you guys a few updates in regard to the app that we’ve been working on for single parents. First of all, we are working on creating a fuller, more interactive version of our website, with more info about us, the team, and our plan. Our current website is here: www.joinvillageapp.com
Secondly, we have also been working a lot on the potential of coming up with a different name for this app. At the moment it’s called Village, and it derives from ‘it takes a village’ to raise a child, by Hillary Clinton. We have been using this name for a while, and by now most of us are used to it (I know I am pretty comfortable with it); plus, we have already created branding and social media sites with this name. However, some people HAVE pointed out that there are several other companies/businesses that name the name ‘village’ on them. But, now that I am thinking about this, I did meet with a trademark attorney yesterday, and she told me that there ARE businesses out there with the same name, like Dove shampoo and Dove chocolates. She said that you CAN name your product a certain way, even if another company already has that name, as long as you are not doing the exact same thing that they’re doing - I didn’t know that until yesterday, and didn’t really think about that until now, this moment, while writing this letter to you, hmm :).
Another word/name that I have come up for this app is ‘KinSakuru’, and I am attaching a few images from the Pitch Deck that I’ve been working on, explaining this name, here:
So, this is what this name means, and I really like the meaning behind it and the depth of it and the story - I feel that it’s quite beautiful. However, having said that, what do you think, my dear reader? I have actually created a survey with a few questions about the name, if you could look at it and help us decide, or maybe you have another idea/ option for a better name? Here it is: https://forms.gle/iVqN5gbWPTeQL6We8
Thank you so much for helping us out! Really, REALLY appreciated! :)
The other thing that I wanted to share with you, and ALSO ask for your help with (if you don’t mind, that is), is in regards to the latest Pitch Deck that I’ve been working on, which really explains and goes in-depth about the single parent problem, struggles, my research, what I found, what our solution and focus is, and how it is that we want to help single parents succeed, find a community, and save time and energy so that they CAN be there more for their family & themselves, of course.
My old, Design Deck (about a year or so old actually), is here: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1OeK58BMb94uAjrD5S00vj2leD5Adi4PFrSr20hYqqk0/edit?usp=sharing
AND, my most current Pitch Deck that I’ve been working on and designing is here (it is still not fully complete, but I think you can really learn a great deal from this): https://www.canva.com/design/DAFJSEmRCWA/MO3WDxz-b2vAxwuQSoN6vQ/view
I would really, really, REALLY appreciate it if you guys could look over the Pitch Deck and give me any kind of feedback on it here (if you think it’s good or if it’s bad, and why? Thank you!!!): https://forms.gle/BnXyADeA2nmF5jTu7 (p.s. In this form I also include a question/space for anyone to share if they’d like to help us with the app in any way. Right now we ESPECIALLY need any kind of help in relation to marketing and social media - anyone who knows about it, can teach us/advise us, or just help us with creating content and posts, this would be amazing. Thank you in advance!).
If you’d like to check out some of the interviews that I have been doing with single parents, here is the latest one from a few days ago with Chelsey where she talks about becoming a single mum at 16 years old, what that was like for her, and how VERY differently she chose to raise her daughter from the way that she herself was brought up. Here is our interview:
Also, if you guys haven’t had the chance to check out my very first, INTRO newsletter from a few weeks where I include a number of links of our teammates as well as share some of my story, here’s the link to that (enjoy! :)):
If you’d like to get in touch with me about anything, please connect with me on LinkedIn and shoot me a message here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/diana-cepsyte/
You can also get in touch with our co-founder & project manager, Julie here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jshannon-design/
And our product manager, Sukaina, here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sukainaasmieda/
Please also join us and let’s start a conversation about the life of a single parent via our social media platforms, like our Discord channel: https://discord.gg/JtNFn6E5Np
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vllage.app/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsztNcjOlNSOmqbFWCvAusQ
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AppVllage
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/vllage/mycompany/verification/?viewAsMember=true
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vllageapp
And our current website, for now, is here: https://joinvillageapp.com/
If you’d like to contact us via our app’s email, you can do so by writing us via joinvillageapp@gmail.com
Thank you so much for being here with me and giving me your very precious time. Thank you!
And, if you would like to help us financially, you can support us by donating here: https://gofund.me/bdaa9b49
Thank you and God bless you!!!
Diana :)
